What Goes Around, Comes Around… In Fashion Too

This past year, we’ve experienced the blessed revival of “claquettes”. You know what I’m talking about! These mules that met sandals and had babies. They barely hold your feet but make them look dainty and give you the allure of a ballerina.

Working out every muscle in your hooves you didn’t know you had, these infamous claquettes will shove you back and forth between having to flex the foot to keep toes pointed in feminine fashion, and said toes spasming in an effort to hold on to torture devices. More often than not, feet will end up resembling ferocious claws latching onto a prey in the scarcity of wintertime.

I, of course, own several pairs.

This comeback forced reflection on the eternal cycle of style and fashion. For example, who knew that the 80's and 90’s would be back in my lifetime? Not me! We barely escaped (and not quite unscathed either) these decades. And frankly, not everything that came out of them was good. I became a teenager when Nirvana became famous, which means I wore my share of plaid shirts, unravelling knits (so much cooler with holes!), and doc martens “tastefully" paired with long bohemian skirts. I celebrated my sixteenth year of existence by not combing my hair for weeks. My bourgeoise grandmother nearly flew off the handle, but it was the black nail polish and the school notebooks covered with “Fuck you I won’t do what you’re telling me” (I was raging against the machine) that did her in. 

And now, NOW, I have read not one but TWO Man Repeller articles casually mentioning bucket hats.

Just like that. “Should I buy a bucket hat?”. Or “Oh look! Stylish people in NYC on their way to their morning coffee, wearing bucket hats.” You think I haven’t noticed, Man Repeller (love you by the way!), that you are either predicting or spearheading the return of bucket hats?!! What is happening???

Let me tell you about bucket hats. I saw and wore one too many for one person's lifetime. Usually classy and elegant to the max (“le summum”), my aforementioned grandma often sported a white and yellow version of this abomination during summer. As if it weren't enough, the object of her affection came with the “Ricard” logo plastered on the front. Did it really need to be branded by an apéritif liquor most popular in second-class campings where middle-aged couples'd awkwardly grind to the Lambada every night? I think not.

I became an unfortunate victim of this fashion statement:

I was 3 and clueless; and lucky for grandma, pretty damn cute regardless. But I am clearly traumatized by the experience. Who would want to relive that? Well apparently, trend setters in New York starting Summer 2018.

"But what do I know", I tell myself as I reminisce on the time I was told that Birkenstocks were back. Pictures of German tourists in socks and sandals flashed before my eyes. Horrified, I vowed to never, EVER wear these atrocities. As you can probably guess, I was spotted gleefully skipping mere years later on my way to the nearest store to procure myself a pair. “But they are so comfortable!” Sure, you tell yourself that.

Meanwhile, brace yourselves: the 90’s and buckets hats are back.