Trending For Christmas
Cher Père Noël:
I am clearly late to the game sending you my letter with only six days to go 'til Christmas. With so little time left, I'd like to jump right in.
All things considered, I have been a decent human this year. Some might even say a good human, especially since the bar has been knocked down a few notches most recently.
I brush my teeth most mornings and evenings, I recycle as best I can. I try to catch myself when I get judgy, I lend an ear to my friends in need, and I love with all my heart.
As far as I know, I haven't harassed anyone yet and THAT is a huge success!
I even cleaned between my stove and my fridge, something most people never ever do. Although I should warn you, what I found in there will likely discourage a repeat in the future.
I don't want to be presumptuous and come across as avid but there are a few things I've been eyeing and even one of these goodies would fill me with joy.
This year has been harsh on many of us, not the least of all me. It has been filled with natural disasters, the loss of quite a few legends, the exposure of power's nasty rear and other nonsense. I think you'll agree that making even one human's heart jump with joy would be a tremendous win for everyone.
Couldn't it be me?
Thank you for continuing your work despite everything else, and for delivering dreams even to those who believe that Santa is the drunk guy in a baggy suit in front of the Walmart.
Be safe, light speed,
Left to right: this modern, stylish wool coat made in France by La Méricaine, which would be of absolutely no use here in parched LA except to make me very, very happy. I could wrap myself in its lusciousness and pretend that I'm at an upscale hotel in the French Alps watching the snow fall while sipping a cocktail of St Germain, also known in my world as "fresh-squeezed fairy juice that needs go in my mouth right now".
Left: A box of wooden herbal tea (whatever that means) Tisane de la Forêt which, oh wonder, also serenades you with the Christmas classic "Oh Holy Night"; the hope is that the music box will give me the final nudge into deep sleep should the tea (or the St Germain) fail to do so.
Right: Sticking with the theme here, this Frosted Forest candle by Dyptique. The fact that I can only buy three of this limited edition makes me want it even more. Something about a unicorn constellation and the smell of fir needles something something. This magical Frosted Forest candle'd better smell like I'm riding bareback on a unicorn in fresh powder snow. In the French Alps. With my bottle of St Germain.
Left: The Sara lamp by Bensimon is pretty damn expensive and is it really worth it? I think so! A cross between mushroom-inspired mid-century design and the Jetsons' home collection, it will look so fetching in my bedroom.
Right: Do you want something to sound fancy and sell fast? Call it Parisian. It's working. I desperately want this Parisian jam (Confiture Parisienne). I heard it's black and based on an obscure oriental recipe. It will taste delicious with the foie gras I won't be eating this Christmas. I don't even know what's in it and I want it. It has a shiny golden jar, and it's black. Like my soul.
Left: What can I say? These Aurélie Bidermann bangles are shiny. They will make sweet sweet music for everyone to hear as I frantically hand gesture while debating intellectual issues of the utmost importance, like who between Brigitte Macron and Melania Trump would drink the other under the table.
Right: Awesome bag made with love by the awesome french sisters at Manufacture Pascal. They also happen to be my cousins. I'm not biased or anything, but their bags are the best-est. I can already see myself parading this one around. And in it, just peeking, would be my bottle of magical St Germain.
Thanks in advance Santa, and a Merry Christmas to All!